A Thanksgiving of Champions
by TheChickenCrazy
Summary: Toshiro Hitsugaya knew that a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by the Kurosaki's would be chaotic, but the last thing he expected was to be replacing the turkey Rangiku and Orihime burned, watching a drunken Ichigo display PDA with his former enemies, and to become the victim of spiked punch. What would Christmas bring? Slight HitsuKarin fluff, rated T for Grimm-kitty.


**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. Me, I'm just here for shits and giggles.

**A/N: **This is somewhat AU, set around four years post pre-time skip. In other words, four years skip instead of two...or three, I can't remember. And you might notice the mention of someone who's supposed to be dead. The dead walk, it's doomsday. A little HitsuKarin fluff here and there, and one moment of UlquiHime if you decide you want to see it, IchiHime if that's what you like. Although I prefer the former. :)

* * *

**A Thanksgiving of Champions**

_"T'was the night before Thanksgiving_

_All the food's in the oven_

_And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'."_

_—Craig Ferguson_

A bitter breeze snipped at Toshiro Hitsugaya's clothing, mocking his similar mood. Although he had arrived at the Kurosaki's "celebration" in relatively high spirits-or rather, sporting the mask of indifference that was his custom and finding no reason in particular to be joyous, his walk to the local supermarket held little potential for being a fond memory at this point. Accompanied by Ichigo's younger sister, the tomboy of two twins, Karin (whose optimism was also less than zealous), he disdainfully slipped back into thoughts of how this night had started and spiraled so quickly into an annoyance and waste of time. He had little excitement when it came to holidays, as they were filled with nothing but pedantic brats and drunken fools.

It had started out as an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, which sounded none too pleasing to Hitsugaya after he had addressed the guest list with Ichigo himself. Rangiku, Ikkaku, and Yumichika were a fatal mix on their own; throwing in other grandees from Soul Society, as well as humans, is a surefire path to catastrophe. Rather than hosting the dinner in the complex of a house atop the clinic, The Kurosaki family had rented out a youth room in the closest church, large enough to easily accommodate the guests. As for accountability in the event, Karin offered up Yuzu's initiative (the words "bossy", "insistent", and "dragon" came up at some point).

However, not long after Hitsugaya and Rangiku had trickled in early (on account of Hitsugaya not wishing to run into the buffoons that would surely be bringing alcohol and remind him of their to-be drunken state, preventing him from even making it to the dinner), his busty lieutenant had found her way into the kitchen, on the contrary to her captain's orders, who knew too well the consequences of her activities in the area. Unfortunately the only person in the vicinity to catch her was Miss Inoue, whose very existence comprised of blissful, air-headed ignorance. And so it was that the turkey was decidedly ruined, although how the two had managed to transform it into an ash-colored, bony crisp Hitsugaya had no idea, and he was voted off alongside the bored-looking Karin to fetch a freshly cooked one from the deli counter.

"Sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself Orihime isn't just plain stupid," Karin grouched, billowing out a puff of cold air as they passed the first block on which the church was located. Hitsugaya's lips hardly betrayed the ghost of a smile, but Karin Kurosaki's navy blue, raven-like eyes missed not the smallest detail. She grinned at his reaction, and he felt the very strange urge to grin back at her.

"Then you ignore cold hard facts," he replied bluntly, although his expression had notably lightened with conversation anew.

"What can I say, it's the teens. They're more of a curse than anything," Karin sighed, and the shift in her voice caused Hitsugaya to turn his gaze her way. She looked irritated once more, and his face nearly melded into an imitation.

"Meaning?"

Karin puffed out another breath. "Everyone acts even worse now than they did when we were still elementary students. It's as if they got stupider-and what's worse, they all turn into wannabe philosophers or poets when they're having a bad day."

Hitsugaya raised his eyebrows at this as they passed a lingerie store, which he promptly ignored. "You appear to be in need of a counsel of sorts."

"It's called a shrink, and no, I don't need one. I just forgot that I can't relate to you because you prefer saving the world over learning about it."

Hitsugaya had a retort on the tip of his tongue, but for better judgement bit it back down. "Your world is dull. All you humans do, specifically at your age, is chase your sexual desires. It's not a particularly appealing environment."

"You found my environment appealing when you figured out I could see you."

By the time Hitsugaya had interpreted it practically, the blush had easily crawled its way up his neck and ravaged his cheeks. He pretended to study the signs on the bookstore as they passed, and when he spared a glance in Karin's direction, he found that she gazed ahead with a confident smirk.

So she had intended it. He mentally cursed himself for having let her discomfort him so obviously, and for his mind having jumped immediately to the utmost uncharacteristic conclusion of his. He fumed inwardly for the duration of their walk, and though Karin's attempts at more conversation were ignored, he could sense that she knew it was not anger at her but at himself, which, to add to the rage, she found amusing.

It did not help that the exchange had brought up memories of the soccer match he had joined in on as well as Rangiku's persistent teasing about Karin. He brushed it off indefinitely, yet could not deny that the subject flustered him. But not denying it did not require admitting it.

When the reached the market, Hitsugaya was kind enough to hold the door, and noticed the way Karin pursed and rolled her lips as she passed. he repressed a smirk of mirth; she looked vulnerable, and two could play at this kind of game. He ignored the way his mind tried to convince him that it was not in his nature to be playful. As a matter of fact, it was unprecedented.

He followed her to the deli counter, which was left absent as Karin plucked at the strings of some kind of brown, stiff streamers that lined the baskets of bread on display. Hitsugaya sighed, carelessly striding over to the section where hot foods were kept warm under the lights and glass containment. A decent-sized cooked turkey sat, just waiting to be picked and delivered to a ravenous sea of eyes at the dinner table. Hitsugaya paused at this thought. How morbid.

"Can I help you?" A much too happy clerk-young, very near Karin's age, and Hitsugaya's physical age-greeted them warmly. Hitsugaya noted, with a foreign sense of disdain, the way the clerk's eyes lingered on Karin.

She pointed laconically at the turkey. The clerk nodded and turned to shuffle something behind the girth of the counter. Hitsugaya eyed the cameras on the ceiling, then the dairy aisle nearby, frowning in concentration. His gaze wandered back to the bread stand, where Karin still stood, away from the counter, plucking at the strands underneath. He noticed the gentle, delicate, feminine shape of her hands and fingers, a strange thing to notice, in such a place, yet intriguing nonetheless. She approached the counter when the clerk had boxed the turkey and paid, and as she leaned to grab it he pushed it by its sides towards her, and Hitsugaya knew that he'd done it solely for the contact their fingers made as she pulled it away. He stiffened in response and fixed an instinctive glare, which the clerk returned with a nervous, deer-in-the-headlights smile. And still, as they walked away and Hitsugaya threw a backward glance over his shoulder, he caught the boy giving Karin's backside a thorough inspection. This time, his glare was venomous enough to send the clerk away to the back room he had emerged from.

As they once again found themselves outside, Hitsugaya wordlessly took the boxed turkey out of Karin's unsuspecting hands. She scowled. "I can carry it."

He acted as if he hadn't heard. "You complain about your fellow classmates and their depressed poetry, yet don't stop to think that you may have something to do with it?"

"Yeah, I relish in how evil I am and how I make everyone feel bad all the time. Thanks, Toshiro," Karin retorted snidely.

Hitsugaya repressed a cringe at the remark, and a shudder at the mention of his name. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I meant that you seem unaware of your admirers." The words were dry on his tongue, like sandpaper. He did not take interest in such petty things, and his voice turned icy with the mention of such alien topics-such useless topics.

Karin snorted. "I ignore them. It's a dumb thing to think about. I've got too much going on, what with Soul Reapers running around here and still managing to miss a few Hollows, and my brother out and about in your world."

Hitsugaya was silent. "It's almost as if you aren't attracted to them at all."

"What are you insinuating?" Karin demanded.

Hitsugaya frowned. He didn't know himself. Could it be that she ignored them because she was interested in-

Did he really just think that thought?

"It's not like I don't like them," Karin admitted, and the blush was far more tangible on her pale skin, although she did a better job of keeping it down, "I'm just not used to normalcy. Boys seem like a useless thing to worry about."

The conversation was becoming increasingly awkward, but Hitsugaya could not suppress the urge to continue it. "You don't strike me as particularly feminine, so I'm not surprised."

"_What?_" Karin snapped. "What the heck does that mean?"

She had turned on him a frosty glare and gotten so close that he had been coerced into shifting the box to one arm. They were very close, although through her rage Hitsugaya doubted she felt the anxiety of their proximity as he did. "Calm down. I didn't mean to offend you."

Karin huffed, but backed down. He felt relieved and disappointed at the same time. "I simply meant that during my time in your school-your world, in fact-I don't see many women of your age spending their free time on the field giving orders to boys. Weak ones, but still male."

"Shinigami women are fighters. They do that sort of thing, don't they? They have to adjust."

Hitsugaya had not considered it, and his thought briefly drifted to his sister figure, Momo, as well as Rangiku. Which only reminded him that they were taking their sweet time. "I suppose."

They continued on, Karin looking agitated. Hitsugaya scowled. Was this because of what he had said?

When they reached the church, they found Renji leaning against the door frame, fiddling absently with the aglet hanging from his sweatshirt. "It's about time. We were beginning to think you two had run off together and gotten married," he greeted them snidely.

Hitsugaya and Karin barked a reproval in unison, which only encourage a snicker from the red-haired shinigami. "Hurry it up. I'm freezing my ass off out here and between Rukia and Kon complaining about the food, everyone is about to go stir-crazy."

Grumbling individually, the two teens followed Renji into the church and to the second level, where there was an abundance of fellow souls and shinigami-the Gotei 13 and their lieutenants included-and a speckle of humans sitting at a large, rectangular dining table-the tall one, Chad was his name; Orihime, dishing out strange looking foods as well as regular dishes, the latter which most drooled at, although some eyed the weird ones with an air of interest; Yuzu and Isshin, in his odd glory; Ishida Uryu, looking bored; and Ichigo, who was bickering savagely with the loudmouth blue-haired man to his right. What was his name? Grimmjow, that was it-his very presence irritated Hitsugaya, unlike the darker one, Ulquiorra, who sat silently next to an empty seat that he figured Orihime would take when she got the chance. That one only ever opened his mouth to object when the respective girl was attempting to coerce him into something he did not want to do.

Rukia, on the other side of Ichigo, brightened at the sight of the turkey in Hitsugaya's arm. "Let's eat!"

* * *

It did not take long for the celebration to break out into the chaos Hitsugaya had expected.

As people left the table in favor of music and chatter, Grimmjow and Rangiku were the first into the alcohol, naturally, though a depressed looking Kira was at their heels. Hitsugaya also noticed the vile Rangiku had pulled from her kimono; popping the lid, she'd poured some sort of liquid into Ulquiorra's cup as he was paying attention to her shenanigans with an estranged, concentrated look on his face.

Grimmjow simply would not shut his mouth. Neliel was practically ass-backwards in a fit of laughter as he went to slam his foot on the table in a kingly stance, completely missed, banged his knee, and fell over shouting the longest, crudest utterance of profanity he had yet to hear. Ichigo, who, among many others, had succumbed to the alcohol (how it had gotten in his system without anyone seeing it Hitsugaya did not know, though he suspected it had been in occurrence with Ulquiorra's misfortune) was now on the table, rolling in leftover stuffing. Orihime squeaked in protest at this, drawing Ulquiorra's attention to the sight in front of him; he furrowed his brow, but his attention turned to his glass. He scowled at it, and decisively pushed it away.

Hitsugaya felt himself being smothered by something soft and...squishy?

Dear god no.

"_Caaaaptain!_" Rangiku squealed, bursting into her feminine laugh. "Have a little _fun _Captain! There's a pretty _girl _over there for you!" she half giggled, half whined, gesturing to Karin, who was drop-kicking her father across the room. The glass of wine in her hand sloshed in sync with her clumsy movements, spilling over onto Hitsugaya's shirt. He tried desperately to wiggle out of Rangiku's grasp-and more importantly out from between her breasts, where he was being suffocated-but she was relentless. "Go _git _her, _Captain!" _

The moment the words were out of her mouth, specifically _git_, she sobered...or at least _saddened._ She began to sniffle. Oh, not the crying...

"That's what _Gin _said. _Giiiin!_" she wailed, as the man in question glanced confusedly from across the room, where he was attempting to lift the plastered Kira from the ground.

"Yes, go to your _Gin_," Hitsugaya grouched, "and leave me be!"

Rangiku continued to wail. "_Giiiiiiin! __My Giiiiiin!_"

"You know, Matsumoto, he's over by the buffet."

Rangiku perked up halfway through a sob, her tears having leaked down and soaked Hitsugaya's hair and the back of his neck. "Wha?"

"He's right there," Karin disclosed as she approached with bored eyes, nodding her head to where Gin was now gazing down at Kira's unconscious form with his trademark smile in place.

"GIN!" she screeched, releasing the poor white-haired boy whose breath returned to him in a _whoosh_, running (and stumbling) as fast as she could go in her drunken stupor before tackling the unsuspecting Gin to the ground.

Hitsugaya began the attempt of regulating his breathing, while Karin watched Rangiku's antics with a raised eyebrow. "I supposed...I owe you...a thanks," he panted, glaring at his lieutenant. She would be suffering strict consequences in the office after the holiday.

"Where the _fuck _is my _fucking _beer? The _fuck__?_" Grimmjow snarled as he lifted himself from his position on the floor. Tears ran down his cheeks, which Hitsugaya found beyond absurd. "What did you little _shit licks _do with it?"

Neliel continued to laugh. Grimmjow whipped around in anger, demanding an explanation, but Nel, who was somewhat tipsy herself, said only, "I drank it, Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow became silent. He sat there and stared at her hysterical form. Hitsugaya was tense, ready to leap into action if need be; yet he simply continued to stare. He stood there for a good two minutes, and finally Hitsugaya's attention was drawn elsewhere-Ichigo's bravado at Ulquiorra.

"Um gonna getcha," he slurred. Ulquiorra glared at him as if he were some kind of disease-ridden bug he wished to squash under his booted feet. "Um gonna kick your assss."

Renji snickered, swaying side-to-side in his chair, still at the table.

"Your kind succumbs quickly to intoxication. How pitiful," Ulquiorra replied coldly in response to Ichigo's ridiculous threats. Orihime looked concerned, but Hitsugaya found the display comedic, although he did not so much as crack a smile, for it was also a humiliating insult to the responsibilities of a shinigami.

"You _basstard._ You kidnapped Hhhime. You put her inna tower with a fire-breeding dinosaur," he snapped.

Orihime slapped a hand over her mouth as she broke out in hysterical, girlish giggles. Ulquiorra's eyes opened a fraction of an inch, more out of amusement than anything. "Did I? I don't recall that," he responded coolly.

"Umma show ya," Ichigo announced with a stamp of the foot. Nearby, Byakuya and the few others attending the dinner who were not under the influence turned their attention towards the show as well. "Umma show ya _truth _power."

"He's keyed," Karin muttered under her breath.

At this point in time, as Ichigo began to approach the apathetic Ulquiorra and the giggling Orihime. However, Grimmjow, mouth ajar, stepped into his path, and for a moment, the two stopped, and stared, as though they were lifelong friends who had reunited after many years. Hitsugaya furrowed his brow, a look that was passed about the room similarly. Comically, Ichigo's jaw dropped just barely to mimic the sexta Espada's.

They stood there.

"_Kitty!__" _

_"__Pumpkin!_"

They sobbed, clinging to each other in a ludicrous display of affection. Hitsugaya felt his eyebrow begin to twitch, but at Karin's shocking sputter of laughter, which the majority of the room joined in on, he managed a smirk.

* * *

"Toshiro."

Hitsugaya's eyes blinked, slowly, open, as he became aware of his surroundings. He lay on something soft-cushion?

The only thing he remembered was realizing that whatever he had sipped at during dinner was beginning to affect him right after Ichigo and Grimmjow's strange display before Isshin ran him over in an effort to wrap Karin in a bear hug. He passed out soon after. His head ached terribly.

"Where am I?" he inquired groggily.

"On my couch," Karin's voice came to match the image of her in a black long-sleeve t-shirt and gray sweats, her soft black hair pulled into a ponytail. "Apparently someone spiked some of glasses, so you passed out."

"Your father nearly trampled me," Hitsugaya argued solely for the sake of his pride. How could have been so careless?

"He did trample you. And then you passed out from being drunk." Was her voice louder than usual? His head pounded..._drunk? _This was beyond mortifying. He was disgusted with himself.

"_I wasn't-_" He groaned at the volume of his own voice. How Rangiku managed this on a regular basis, he did not know.

Karin rolled her eyes. "Everyone else is either passed out at the church or left. You and I are the only ones here besides Yuzu, and she's making breakfast. If you want some come get it. And you're going to want this," she said, handing him a steaming mug of something dark-colored.

He gave it a disdainful sniff. "What is this?"

"It's coffee. Don't you know what that is?"

He took a sip. And he immediately spat it back out.

Karin jumped. "What the heck was that for?" she demanded.

"It's hot."

"And?"

"I prefer beverages cold."

Karin sighed. "Is there anything about you that's warm and inviting?"

Hitsugaya glared.

"Karin, tell your boyfriend to get up! Breakfast is ready!"

As if in sync to a chorus, veins popped on the foreheads of the two. "I'm only going to say it one more time," Hitsugaya snapped, and Karin joined in:

"YOU'RE WRONG!"

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